Snippit Madness
by Gummy Kitten
Summary: For a 100 theme challenge. Multiple mixed pairings and storylines. Includes: ZoSan, SanUso, SanNam, UsoNam, LawLu, FraRobin, SmoAce, and possibly others. Most will likely be ZoSan.
1. SanUso 1 :: Introduction

A/N- All right, so here's how this is going to work… this particular 100 theme challenge is going to slightly bend the rules a little. Instead of just choosing a different short story or oneshot for each theme, I'm going to compile the themes into separate stories.

**For instance, this first chapter features at SanUso pairing, and it is the beginning of a story that all of the other themes I choose for the SanUso pairing will follow. I promise all of the stories will have a happy ending and the pairing will stay as it is originally meant to xD.**

**To clarify a little more, this chapter is called:**

**SanUso 1 :: Introduction.**

**Let's say I used the 'Dark' theme for the snippit that acts as a sequel to this, it'll be called:**

**SanUso 2 :: Dark**

**And so on.**

**If you're only interested in one or two pairings, just follow the numbers next to that pairing. The stories have absolutely no relation to one another so you don't need to read the ones you don't like to follow the ones you do. Savvy?**

…**I hope so xD.**

**As a final note, I won't be focusing incredible amounts of time on this. This is sort of what I plan to write when I don't feel like writing anything else because it gives me quite a bit of leeway and helps get the ball rowling.**

**o-o-o-o-o**

Usopp wriggled and flailed and kicked (perhaps just a little half-heartedly though he'd never admit it) "Let go! I refuse!" He shouted, snarling like an angry puppy as he tried to lift the arm wrapped around his midsection up to his mouth and bite it off.

"Come on, it's for your own good." Sanji's voice was way too plain, it really did make Usopp want to give up this 'get away' endeavor he was fixed on.

"I think I'm coming down with something…" He faked a few coughs and then sniffled. "Oh yeah, this is definitely the infamous 'don't go on the blind date' disease." Just as he finished that sentence, his scenery changed and he realized he'd already been dragged into the restaurant.

"Sanji! Sanji please!" His struggling picked up, double time now and his shouting alerted many of the restaurants patrons and employees. That was a bother…

Sanji released him for just a moment, and in that moment Usopp recognized his freedom and made an attempt to take off before he felt his wrist grabbed and he was swung around, landing so he was flush against Sanji's chest with Sanji's hand covering his mouth. He felt his face heat up, but Sanji wouldn't let him turn away from his eyes, much as he wanted to.

"I promised these ladies I'd bring you along." He said. "I won't let them down." He looked into Usopp's, eyes searching for understanding before removing his hand.

"Couldn't you just bring Zoro or Luffy or… anyone else?" Usopp stepped back, hugging himself.

Sanji titled his head with clear curiosity, puffing at his cigarette with examining eyes. He was trying to figure Usopp out, and that just made things worse. Usopp didn't want to be figured out.

He sighed, and with it came a cloud of smoke. "Those two are obviously asexual, Franky is taken, Chopper is a reindeer and Brook is just bones."

"So!" Usopp threw his arms in the air. "He's Soul King! Girls love him! And Chopper is cute and cuddly and fluffy! Once again, girls love him!"

Sanji seemed to consider this, but then just sighed. "It's too late now. Just come on." He grabbed Usopp's wrist and tried to pull him but Usopp broke free and planted himself stationary back where he'd been.

Sanji groaned "Why is it so horrible?" By now they had the undivided attention of many of those sitting at the tables around them, as if wondering what the hell they were doing there. "Is it that blond from back home?" He cocked his head. "Are you too attached?"

Usopp sighed. "It's not that." He frowned, looking away.

"So you're completely free of any attachments." Sanji stated.

"No." Usopp shook his head. "I mean yes!" He stomped his foot, shouting again. "I mean..." He opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came out, so he just kind of left it that way and looked down at the floor.

"Just… forget it." He turned around, left, and to his relief and irrational disappointment, Sanji didn't chase after him.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"SANJI!" Luffy hopped over the railing and landed in front of the cook. "They can't join us." He pointed to the two women on either of Sanji's arms.

"That's not why I brought them." He said, and Luffy's asserting pointing finger deflated.

"Oh." He said. "Why then?" He scratched at his head, cock-headed and confused as the one on the left winked at him. Was he missing some funny joke between them?

"Have you seen Usopp?" Sanji asked another question instead of answering.

"He's on the upper deck." Someone else answered from a ways away, and both turned to see Robin seated in a foldout chair next to a little table with tea and a book.

"Who's that?" One of the girls on Sanji's arms whined, and tugged on his shirt.

"Thank you, Robin-chwan!" Sanji sung, and the two girls sneered at one another, but only plastered themselves harder against him. Usopp being up on the higher deck wasn't surprising. That was often where he did his finishing touches on his inventions as well as tested them out. It would've been Sanji's first guess.

Luffy still looked confused as Sanji headed in that direction. He felt like he was going to have to talk to Sanji about letting random girls simply board the ship. Though… he didn't really know why, it just seemed like a bad idea.

"Hey, Usopp."

Sanji's voice startled him. He was crouched, tube of an elixir in one hand and a small ball with an opening in the other, carefully readying himself to pour one into the other. He nearly spilled it when he jumped, but couldn't frown as he looked up. That was, until he saw what the cook had brought along with him.

He scowled, and refocused his attention on his work. "What do you want?" He asked.

"These are the girls you stood up because of your urgent business." Sanji explained, sarcastic emphasis on the last few words. "But don't worry, I already apologized to them for you."

Usopp didn't understand why Sanji was so keen on introducing him to girls all of the sudden. He'd thought after he left that would be the end of it. Either Sanji would be probably twice as happy having both of them for himself or he'd pick someone else. But yet, here he was on the ship with them… was no place safe anymore?

Usopp sighed and removed his goggles. Just because Sanji was being an ass didn't mean he needed to be rude to them, though.

"I'm Usopp." He held out his hand to shake. The one on the right was a little hesitant, but the one on the left leapt forward to grab hold of it, smiling widely. "Nikki." She introduced, her big, blue eyes catching his by surprise. At least they were blue… like his.

"I'm Claire." The other one added, but stayed stuck to Sanji as opposed to taking the hand Nikki had already claimed.

"Hi." Usopp nodded awkwardly, and then looked back at Sanji, who seemed to be trying to read something. That took Usopp by surprise a little, and he had to not only look, but turn away. "Anyway, I'm really busy." He said, and then forced a slight laugh. "Have to prepare for the epic battles ahead." He continued to chuckle.

"What's your problem?" Sanji sounded irritated, and Usopp cringed.

"You know I didn't ask for you to do any of this." He just sort of threw up the words. "In fact I said specifically not to. I'm not interested in anyone else!" When he realized how much what he'd just said sounded like the truth… he regretted it immediately.

Nikki seemed a little embarrassed, and kind of shrunk behind Sanji at Usopp's outburst.

"Look, I'm sorry girls-," Usopp started, but was interrupted.

"Else, huh?" Sanji looked at him critically. "Does that mean you're only interested in yourself, or is there actually someone?"

"It's none of your business." Usopp shook his head. _Just leave it alone… for fuck's sake._

Sanji sighed heavily. "Fine, whatever." He started to turn, and Nikki and Claire just sort of followed his lead. "I don't get you."

Usopp stared down at his feet as they disappeared down the staircase, and breathed out a heavy sigh. Coming up with a good enough lie to excuse himself from being introduced to girls was looking impossible. This wasn't the first time, and probably wouldn't be the last no matter what he tried to do.

All he knew was the irony. The irony that the person he loved would go through the effort to try and introduce another love into his life. He wasn't interested, and frankly, it just hurt more.


	2. SanNam 1 :: Love

He was practically falling over himself as he made his way to the bar counter, just in time to turn smoothly around and make his fall against it look like a lean. Nami was sure, as she'd been watching him, that he hadn't touched any alcohol. But he was certainly high on something, and it definitely wasn't the nice weather.

His little group followed him, whining and each trying to be the first to attach to one of his arms. The ones that didn't get an arm made due trying to plaster themselves against his side or chest, and anyone could tell that he was in absolute paradise. Nami wondered, more than anything, how that disgusting look on his face didn't scare them all off.

There were six of them. Sanji's pockets were always full of touchy-feely girly hands after a big fight, but since he'd really made a name for himself they were much more persistant.

She was scowling at him for- she couldn't say how long, before a very welcomed interruption appeared in the form of an older woman sitting down in front of her. She wasn't too old- maybe early forties at most. Sanji might've taken a crack at her himself have he not been so busy, to hint at the nature of her complexion.

"You keep looking at him." The woman said. "Do you know him? Or do you just naturally glare so disgustedly at such displays?"

Nami scoffed. "I know him." She shrugged. "He's part of our crew." She scowled at the wall of bottles on display as she took a sip of the drink in front of her.

"I see." The woman smiled, and chuckled. "In my day I used to be like that." She looked nostalgic. "One of the girls, I mean. There was always something about trying to win the heart of the ones that love them all. If they were cute, anyway." She chuckled. "Not that I ever succeeded, but it's good fun."

Nami rolled her eyes. "None of them will either, not with him. He'll probably buy them all flowers and chocolate until they pass out, but he'd never be able to settle for just one."

The woman's eyes narrowed. "You seem kind of bitter about that." She smiled slyly.

"What?" Nami scowled and barked, and then just happened to look up and meet eyes with Sanji.

"Nami-swaaaan!" Sanji waved his arms in the air, elevating himself somehow above the crowd of females to see her. "Join us!" He laughed like a mad man mixed with a school-girl and a hacking cat.

She rolled her eyes again and looked away. She saw Sanji's face fall a little from the corner of her eye, but go right back to it's swooning when one of them may have touched him in a not so innocent place.

"He seems to like you." The woman laughed.

"I'm female." Nami sipped at her drink and shrugged.

"I wonder if that's all it is." She rested the side of her head in her palm and smirked. "You're his crewmate, right?"

"That's different. Sure, we're friends and we look out for each other but when it comes to anything like…" Nami paused to think of the word. "…well, _that…_" She just chose to point instead. "All girls are the same."

"What was his name again?" She asked, and without thinking, Nami answered.

"Sanji."

"Hey, Sanji!" She shouted down the bar, waving to him, and he looked over.  
>"Nami wants to talk to you!"<p>

Nami's forehead hit the bar counter even before Sanji's eyes turned to gigantic hearts and her tornado-spun his way out of his little group of wining females to land in front of her.

"Yes, Nami-san?" He asked, even though her head was still plastered against the wooden countertop. She lifted it slowly, and groggily turned to face him.

"I just wanted to tell you not to forget to do some shopping before tonight." She came up with the best thing she could.

"Of course, Nami-swan!" He straightened himself and saluted her with that big dumb grin on his face. She rolled her eyes and betrayed her attempt at annoyance because she couldn't help but allow the left side of her mouth to quirk into a tiny smile. "Is there anything specific you request?" He held out his hand to her, the same one he'd used to salute her earlier. "A beautiful rose? A whole bush of beautiful roses?"

"No, no, that's all right." Nami waved him off. "Just the usual food supplies, Franky and Chopper can handle the rest."

"No problem." He nodded, finally beginning to behave a little bit normally. Nami liked it- she _really _liked it when he did that. It was short-lived though, because-

"Sanji-kuuuun!" A chorus of whiny shouts came from his former seating spot and stole his attention.

"Yes! My flawless angels!" He waved his arms around as he tromped over to them, more than just 'pep' in his steps. "Here I come!" He fluttered over and got right back to what he did best.

"See what I mean?" Nami shrugged.

"Hm." The older woman studied her for a few moments. "I'm not convinced."

Nami scoffed, becoming a little bit annoyed now. She didn't want to be rude, the lady was nice enough, but couldn't they talk about anything else? "Convinced of what?"

"That you're not the only girl in the world who could tame that one." She was grinning almost maniacally by now. "That is, if you'd want to."

Nami snorted. "What do you want me to do? Confess?" Then she laughed.

"Confess what?" The woman asked again with a curious tilt of her head.

Nami's frown grew spiteful and her fingers, formerly against the side of her head as she held her chin in her hand, crawled in front of her face, tips pressing in aggravation against her forhead.

Her entire aura darkened, and she grew silent, stayed still moment after moment until she finally sighed. "It's not like I'm in love with him." She whispered, voice a little shaky and hoarse. "He just…" She looked up at Sanji from the corner of her eye to spot him sitting on the counter now, the girls gathered around him on the floor as if listening intently as he told a story. His cheeks were red, but he was just smiling as he spoke to them. She'd thought more than once that a person's smile shouldn't be able to so inevitably take another's breath away every damn time.

When he wasn't falling all over her, Robin, and every other female in the universe, it was difficult not to fall for Sanji. She was probably the girl who knew him better than anyone, and he was not only clean-cut and well-groomed, but he could be very polite when he wanted to, and not just toward pretty girls. He was strong and talented and… well, kind of had the potential to become rich with those cooking skills. He had a good head on his shoulders as long as a woman stayed uninvolved, and somehow was just so cool when he didn't try. Kind of adorable, sometimes irritating when he did.

Sometimes she thought it was too bad she was smarter than that. Not nearly dumb enough to fall for his subtle charms despite having to run into them day in and day out. If she were stupider, she'd let herself be swept away and some part of that would be bliss. If she were naïve, she'd fall in love with him.

But he had no intention of belonging to only one woman, existing to please only one woman. Aside from simply being a complete pervert, it was clear he'd made it his duty to exist for them all. So if she were naïve, she'd end up with a broken heart.

"The name's Tanya, by the way." The woman spoke up again. "I'll buy you a few drinks."

She grabbed the bottle that she'd earlier asked the bartender for, and began to pour some into Nami's glass. "You look like you could use it."


End file.
